Calm Your Tits

created by Cheeky Brew
sample tin
makes 5 cups
3oz pouch
37¢ per cup
5oz tin
38¢ per cup
Grown-upping is difficult. Simply focus on respiration and then ingest a relaxing slurp of Calm Your Tits. You will be immediately carried off to a South Pacific island with Frankie, the gender-neutral cabana manager, who will accommodate your every non-sexual requirement. Undo the calamity that's in your mammaries!

No caffeine | Steep at 212° for 5 minutes.
Signature blends are not eligible for returns.
ASPCA logo


5% of this blend's sales will benefit the charity

The mission of the ASPCA, as stated by our founder, Henry Bergh, is to provide effective means for the prevention of cruelty to animals throughout the United States.

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ingredients & lore

blended with rose hips, hibiscus, apple pieces, green rooibos, coconut, natural pineapple flavor, natural coconut flavor & pineapple pieces

tea puddle tea puddle

teas: pina colada & green rooibos

accented with coconut

Enjoy this blend any way you like: steeped in hot water, poured over ice, or cold-brewed overnight in the fridge! (Not to be confused with a certain boutique tea company's "Calm The F*ck Down".)
blend image

this blend is in a 'ship

Calm Your Tits has hooked up with Chill Out, Slut!.
Let their love steep in your cupboard and get 10% off when you purchase both 3oz pouches.
Chill Out, Slut!
3oz pouch

this tea is part of the Cheeky Brew fandom

fandom band
Love Calm Your Tits? This is just one of 32 teas in this fandom. Check out the whole series.

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