A Chilling Black Metal Night

While wondering the forests of the remote region around Oslo, Norway on the coldest night in winter and creating the blackest of the blackest black metal you can imagine I thought 'my fellow war-painted-blast-beaters of the metal faith are missing out on this sensation that I am experiencing at this moment'. So I rushed to the nearest berry bush I could find, frantically collected all of the frozen berries that I could, stumbled upon some wild spearmint and peppermint, and headed to my deep-forest cabin lined with reindeer hide and built from the remains of an accidental church fire(still under investigation) and then punched, kicked, stabbed, yelled, growled, death-roared and steeped all the ingredients into a deathly concoction for only the strongest and purest of Metal Brethren! Enjoy!