ingredients & lore
blended with black tea, ginger root, cloves, cardamom, rose hips, hibiscus flowers, apple pieces, natural wild cherry flavor, natural creme flavor, dried cherries, natural cinnamon flavor, cinnamon bark
accented with rose hips
steep at 212° for 6 mins
Spring hit the grove early, much to the pleasure of Luhan. He had been forced to nibble on browning grasses and peeling bark all winter long, and awful didn't even begin to describe it. Fortunately his penny-pinching days were now over, so he could focus on more pertinent matters, i.e. what the buck does his neighbor think he's doing, doesn't he know that these are Luhan's bedding leaves?
But sadly the winter had taken more from him than the sheen of his coat; his strength had been greatly sapped. Despite his youthful appearance, he was in no position to be taking on cocky young bucks with their velvet antlers who thought they they knew everything. Stupid bucks.
It was a long shot, but Luhan decided he needed the intervention of a higher power. Stepping daintily over to the sunlight-dappled pool by his grove, he began artfully arranging an offering of bark, roots, seed pods, leaves, and cherry stones, before kicking them into the water. With a loud grunt, he called out, 'Glory, glory Man United!'
When there was no reply, Luhan continued loudly, 'Please, Pond-Spirit! Give me the strength to kick butt! I need to be manlier so I can fiercely and forcefully reject those who dare sleep on my bedding. Please grant me this power!'
With a sigh, the pond spirit emerged unceremoniously from the pool. 'Look kid, I know you gathered all the ingredients for Man Tea, but it only works for humans. I'm sorry. I can't help you.'
Shocked, Luhan fell down heavily on his haunches. Then, very slowly, he asked: 'How many men do you need to turn me human?'