MonotoneTea
by Timothy Buttz
87
MonotoneTea
based on 3 reviews
sample tin
makes 5 cups
$6
3oz pouch
37¢ per cup
$14
5oz tin
38¢ per cup
$24
MonotoneTea
by Timothy Buttz
|
MonotoneTea
|
|
|
|
by Timothy Buttz
|
After a hard day slaving over a hot microphone, I need something unique to soothe my throat. I've grown accustomed to my classic oolong (read: dirt) tea blend, so I've developed this modern take on a classic.
Years of scientific research, taste-testing and making toilet jokes has led to the creation of MonotoneTea, the definitive blend of mambo, chocolate and vanilla oolong.
You read that right, my patented tea blend is composed of both a dance, a dessert and whatever the hell 'vanilla oolong' is.
You're sure to say 'bottoms up' as your taste buds are enchanted by the magical 'smoky' aroma, highlighted by the 'tang of the Ceylon.' I'm not sure if that's a location, a drug or a Pokemon but whatever it is it's probably delicious.
Drink me. You won't be disappointed.
High caffeine | Steep at 212° for 3 mins
Signature blends are not eligible for returns.
Customer Reviews (3)
ingredients & lore
blended with black tea, yunnan jig tea, wuyi ensemble tea, oolong tea, cocoa nibs, natural chocolate flavor & natural vanilla flavor
teas: mambo, chocolate & vanilla oolong
accented with candy canes
Sometimes people approach me and ask, 'Tim, how DO you do it? You're a successful internet entreprenreureur, a web 2.0 mastermind and a personal brand all accompanied by a delicious lemony scent.'
To them I say, I couldn't have done it without my special signature exotic blend of MonotoneTea, the best thing to pour down your face-hole.
I'm delighted to report that recent FDA testing has confirmed MonotoneTea is now 75% nontoxic* and only slightly radioactive.
(*ingestion of MonotoneTea results in extreme pain, shortly followed by death.)
Video Review
this blend is in a 'ship
MonotoneTea has hooked up with Egalithé.Let their love steep in your cupboard and get 10% off when you purchase both 3oz pouches.
Egalithé
3oz pouch
$12.60
this tea is part of the THE FLAVOR FRIENDS fandom
Love MonotoneTea? This is just one of 2 teas in this fandom. Check out the whole series.
create the perfect fandom gift box
Now's your chance to create your very own custom fandom sampler set!
Select six samples of your favorite blends from any collection and we will create a box set unique to you.
