Total System Failure
Dissatisfied with your job? Frustrated by your hopeless crush on the cute boss? Is coffee just not enough anymore? Awww, cheer up, emu kid, this blend's for you (and your personalized vacuum-sealed tumbler). Toasted mate provides a coffee-like shot of bracing confidence, while raspberries and dark chocolate add an inappropriately-sexy dimension to your workday. God, those sprinkles are SO UNPROFESSIONAL.