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Messages for Joe:

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Nov 2nd 2013 | Public Msg
Jessa said:
tumblr pals have to stick together. and drink lots of tea. :D

Latest Reviews

Apr 22nd '13
Be wary of this tea. The two black teas tempered by cream are both potent and soothing, and really drew me in. I drank feverishly. But the three flavor accents must be imbued with the three powers of the triforce - power, wisdom, and courage, and are very dangerous. I FELT the power. I HAD the courage. I saw before me the master sword, and had the wisdom to know i had to take it. I ran outside, and found the landscape to be crawling with octoroks and peahats. I began slaying them left and right, earning rupies both orange and blue. A wizzrobe came at me shouting, but i threw my boomerang at him! I stormed into the dungeon and stole away the princess from Ganon himself, him all the while waving his fists at me futilely, no doubt intimidated by my skills and valor. I was victorious. And exhausted. I returned to my hut and slept. I...awoke an hour later, police at my door, regarding complaints that i had chased all the neighborhood cats away with a broom, and had barged into my neighbor's house and kidnapped their teenage daughter. I don't remember doing any of this, and i even showed them this tea and said it couldn't be my fault, but apparently there still has to be a trial.
Apr 19th '13
When i woke up this morning from starry eyed dreams of killing everything and everyone, this was the perfect tea to get my servos moving. The spicy chai was intrumental in opening my sleepy eyestalk. The gunpowder was sufficiently strong enough to regenerate my forcefield. The mint seemed delightful and silly, things a Dalek has no need for. They reminded me of Gallifrey and the insufferable Doctor. The only emotion i have is hate, and i do not hate this tea. I will recommend this blend to Davros at once.
Mar 7th '13
This tea tastes exactly what i would imagine making out with a Balrog would be. Spicy and bold like the fiery passion of Durin's Bane, yet smooth and inviting like the wandering tongue of a servant of Morgoth. Before i had known it, lost in thought of whips and horns, i had drank my entire cup. I immediately sought after the broken remains of the bridge of Khazad-dum to jump into the black chasm and live inside the Balrog's breath eternally. The chocolate is also a nice touch.
Feb 4th '13
This tea is sharp like the blade of an ax, smooth like the flirting skills of Gimli, and pleasing like the fabled hospitality of the dwarves.
Jan 9th '13
When you open the bag, it smells like the inside of a Baskin Robbins. Then you brew it. And it tastes like you're licking the inside of a Baskin Robbins. It's not too strong. Almond comes through in a neat way. If it was yellow, you could call it mellow yellow. But it's not. It's brown. And on the top, little spots floats along the top, presumably from the melted chocolate chips. And if you look close, you can make out shapes in them, like when you're watching clouds. I swear right now i can see the misty mountains on one side of my mug, and also what looks like either Gonzo's profile, or a hobbit penis.
Dec 6th '12
As hobbit was about to eat a delicious blueberry muffin, he accidentally sat down on a nearby wizard's hat. 'Fool of a hobbit!' cried the wizard, nodded his head and turned the blueberry muffin to liquid. It was caught in the folds of the hobbit's shirt, where he shrugged, smiled, and carefully lapped it up. 'Mmm, it's still elevenses! Care for some?' The wizard harrumphed as he dusted off his hat.

Signature Blends

Spooky Strawberry
Spooky Strawberry
Score: 95
by Joe Long
strawberry, vanilla, cream
Ghostly Blueberry
Ghostly Blueberry
Score: 99
by Joe Long
blueberry, vanilla, cream
cuppa kupo
cuppa kupo
Score: 99
by Joe Long
vanilla, cream, candy cane
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